Tantrums and Meltdowns: How I Handle Them Without Losing My Shit

Parenting is hard. Parenting multiple children is even harder. It seems like there is never a quiet moment. It seems as if there is always a god damn tantrum about to happen.

I’m not gonna lie, I never understood why parents were so exhausted all of the time before having kids. Hell even after having just one I still didn’t get it. My first one was easy. He ate what I gave him, didn’t throw tantrums, potty trained super easy. He was every parent’s dream child. That is until his younger brother made his entrance. It was like I woke a demon deep inside of him. There was constant meltdowns, backtalking and outright defiance on a regular basis. I was ready to pull my hair out at the end of just about every day. After finally getting into a pretty good groove with the boys, along came little sister. Queue Demon release all over again. Kill me now. Only kidding. I’ve learned to work out most issues between my kids but some days I’d rather just throw them in the gladiator ring and let them fight to the death…Since that’s highly illegal I’ll  settle for parenting instead.

I’ve come to find that there are a few things that I can do to keep my cool and to help all of them through the transition of adding a sibling and the feelings that seem to come with that. Here I am to share with you how I deal with tantrums without going crazy.

1. Get Down On Their Level
   • I have found this to be one of the most helpful things ever when it comes to tantrums. The Demon can be having a full on meltdown and if I kneel down and grab his hands and ask him to use his words, his entire attitude changes. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that eye contact makes a difference. Being on their level makes it easier for them to see your face and read your emotions seeing that you are trying to help them with their feelings. Kids have a tough time showing their emotions appropriately so that physical connection from mom or dad helps calm them down.
2. Distraction
   • Distraction is literally my best friend. When I see a tantrum boiling up under Sassy Boy’s skin I try to find something to change his thought pattern before he explodes on myself or his little brother. If I’m able to catch it soon enough we can avoid an unnecessary meltdown and come back to it in a few minutes when he has calmed down.
3. Laughter
   • It may not seem like the thing you want to do in the middle of a crazy fit but it works! If I stop and make a silly face or tickle the tantrum thrower it tends to change their mood almost instantly. Once they have had a good laugh then we can get back to the issue and discuss calmly what happened and how we can make better choices.
4.  Discussion
   • I try to discuss EVERYTHING possible with my kids. If they are having big emotions I try to ask questions to help them figure out what is going on. After doing so we walk through better ways to deal with an issue than throwing a fit. Does it always work? No, not every time but it helps to talk through things and take it step by step every time there is a meltdown.

 

These are just a few ways I’ve found to keep my sanity that works with my children. Of course, all kids are different though. Try them out, see if they help! Also, tell me in the comments below something you use to help with tantrums and dealing with more than one crazy kid at a time!